Opening the Gallery of Success for 2017

This is a re-blog of a very kind article about me by Jan Russell of Your Business in Mind.

Posted on 14th January 2017

 

The wonderful Maya Angelou put it simply.

‘When you learn, teach. When you get, give.’

This sentiment is embodied by Keziah Gibbons, Master NLP Practitioner, Reiki Master and teacher, and associate of Your Business in Mind, and we are proud to name her in our gallery of success for 2017.

Keziah is creator of Vibrant Self Healing, offering integrated coaching, healing and change work, through a variety of complementary media. Some of you will have already met her through the work she has done with us delivering PIE training and in supporting the creation of our Masters NLP course, both administratively and in delivery. She did her NLP Practitioner some four years ago, going on to do her Master Practitioner a year later. She flew with her learning, aligning it to the other skills over which she has mastery. I knew she was good, extremely good, yet, like our delegates, last year I was simply blown away.

It began with noting her generosity. Keziah is one of those people with a rare blend of self confidence in her abilities yet true compassion in her nature. Before working with us on PIE, I knew that she had begun to give away free materials on her website. Then a step beyond, she created particular materials to give proceeds to charities.  Then when she made bespoke materials for our course, their depth and richness was a true gift.

Then the Masters NLP.  Modelling is a key component of NLP mastery, so, when invited to join the team last year, congruent as ever, Keziah embarked on a modelling project of her own. She modelled storytelling, an activity close to her heart and soul. When she presented the model on our course, the impact was huge. First, our delegates were impressed and reassured by Keziah’s particular style. As well as being eloquent and elegant in delivery, her manner of pausing is unique and memorable – and everyone buzzed with learning from this.  Second, she set an anchor and an opening for all of our group to deliver their stories with open hearts and minds, engendering a level of creativity I have rarely seen within the time frame. On the following day, she created deep shift with a creative blend of NLP, Druidic chanting, Reiki drumming and bringing in Tarot as a means of self consultation.

For me, Kez embodies the principles of NLP, along with her other daily practices, in her level of self application. In her own words, ‘The difference in my healing practice is that I have successfully applied each and every intervention on myself’.  Kez’s personal journey and learning has been rich with adventure and deep challenge, while she has cultivated her range of  applied learning over a seven year period while being a parent and living in several different cultures. I think that’s what gives her the quiet authority which she tells us that she strives for, in the opening to her book, Living the Reiki Precepts. Perhaps also the boldness to meld many different ways of working to bring something unique and powerful to the party.

I am proud of Keziah, and enriched by working alongside her. As some of you know, she is my daughter as well as an associate. I am fortunate that she is a daughter from whom I learn as well as being a woman that I love. When Keziah learns, she teaches, and when she gets, she gives. Our delegates this year on our Masters gave her many accolades, the common theme being that ‘I have tried to make this change/learn this approach before, and couldn’t. With you, I did’.

By request, I believe that Keziah is planning a deep shift retreat in the Algarve in 2017, so what better way to start the year than by giving it our full support and wishing you all success in the way that you want it.

Deep Connection 2017 Brochure

 

Modelling/Storytelling Project #4: Ancestral Tradition

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to interview Adam Sargant, a Bard and dedicated storyteller who is actively engaged in both preserving and promoting the oral storytelling tradition on a community and wider level.

I’d watched Adam’s Marvellous, Magnificent Storytelling Machine and knew that he was working on a project on the use of trance in storytelling.

Below is an excerpt from Adam’s interview:

Who are you when you tell stories?

Adam explains that he sees himself as having a long line of storytellers behind him, his ‘lineage’, and that when he is getting himself into state for his storytelling he pauses and pictures those storytellers behind him, which is comforting. He also says that he becomes ‘Adam the Storyteller’ in that moment, so that storytelling itself is an identity for him, and it is important to him to be part of that lineage. Later, when we talk more about this moment of getting into state in which he connects with the lineage of storytellers behind him, he talks about how he empties out his ordinary, everyday self and everything attached, inviting his storytelling ancestors to lend their skill and inspiration and tell the story through him.

What’s important about telling stories?

Adam’s face gains more colour and he pauses, looking down and to the right, connecting to the question. Then he tells me about how storytelling is important for him as an outlet for his creativity, and that he believes that he can do it relatively well and make impact. He relates it to his identity and function as a Bard, and that not believing that he has poetic or musical skills (although, he lets slip, he does write poetry and plays musical instruments, he just doesn’t believe that he can do it for an audience), storytelling was really important for him to be able to pursue this path of personal development and to create himself as Adam the Storyteller, Adam the Bard.

What’s important about the stories?

Adam asks me whether I would like him to interpret this question as being about his choice of stories. I encourage him to share whatever has come to mind. He says that the stories he chooses must all match his values in some way. He then goes on to say that this is the purpose of stories – to pass on values, to pass on tradition. Later, we will talk about how much of a story is fluid.

What are you capable of when you are telling a story?

Adam tells me that at his best, he is able to transport the majority of his audience to the ‘as if’ place. The ‘as if’ place is a state of trance or an unconscious state, in which the listener is more aware of the story than of their own surroundings. This place is familiar to the avid reader of books, who can lose themselves in a story, and is also the place from which Adam likes to tell the story, so that he starts off by going into his own ‘as if’ place and then extending the reach of that place to bring his listeners in.

What do you need in an environment for you to tell a story?

Adam says that it is important for him to be telling a story to real people, and goes on to describe how, when recording a story for mp3 (such as his recent Selkie Bride), he is ‘not talking to a microphone, but imagining people’. His eyes flicker upwards and he realises that the image he is using for this is of the pub where he usually tells his stories, and that the faces he sees are all ‘familiar’ – they may not be a particular person, he says, but they are definitely familiar, and that this image helps him to tell the story to the microphone.

I ask him how important familiarity is in the environment where he will tell a story, and he says that it is important but not essential. He tells the story of the first time he told a story in unfamiliar surroundings, as part of a workshop, and tells me that he just took an extra five minutes to get into state properly. We explore getting into state in some detail later on.

How do you engage the audience?

For Adam, this is very much about trance – about transporting his audience to that ‘as if’ space. So what he does is put himself into the ‘as if’ state first, and then extends it out to the audience. He says that he constantly calibrates the audience, both consciously and unconsciously, by looking at their facial expressions, breathing, looking and listening for responses to certain points in the story. He uses the example of me having smiled a couple of times when he was telling me the story of the Story-Needy Girl, and tells anecdotes of children jumping or drawing breath in in shock. He says that if he is not noticing any of these signals, he may then change his set list to another story which he hopes will engage the audience more.

How do you know which story to choose?

Adam explains to me that when he is learning a story, he ‘bare bones’ it – breaks it down to the most simple elements – and then cuts it down into chunks. This gives him a visual-spatial representation of the ‘shape’ and ‘pace’ of a story. He also has a visual idea of the emotion involved in a story, which he might represent as in a graph. When choosing a story after having calibrated an audience’s reaction to a previous story, he will choose a story to match or mismatch the shape, pace, and emotion of a story as appropriate.

How do you embody the story?

Adam talks about how he will reach for or point to an object or person to match the action in the story. He is very clear that he is a story-teller not an actor, and that it is not his intention to take up the space or call a lot of attention to himself, but to transport the listener to a space where they can create and experience the stories for themselves.

I ask him about how he puts himself into the state of the character who is speaking, and he talks about changing his tonality, facial expression and positioning. I ask him how he knows when to do this and he says that he has an image of the scene in front of him, from third position, and that when it is time for a character to speak or act he goes into first position from the point of view of the character, and gets the state and behaviours from there.

How much of a story can be changed as appropriate, and how do you know when it is appropriate to do so?

Adam proceeds to tell the story of The Story-Needy Girl, a little girl who needs to hear stories, and whose three nursemaids collect them for her. Each time the girl is given a story she puts it away in her bag, until one day her bag becomes so heavy that she puts it down while she goes out. The three nursemaids hear a whispering coming from the bag, and go and listen to it. Three stories are conspiring as to how they will harm the girl when she gets back. The girl returns and the three nursemaids protect her from the stories. The girl learns that she must let the stories go free, as an untold story becomes toxic.

Adam explains that he has adapted this story from a Korean folktale, in which the story-needy girl is a young boy, and the nursemaids are something else again, in order to fit it into his own cultural context, to assign meaning and authenticity when he tells it. He adds that he does tell some stories from other cultures, as long as they fit in with his values or can be adapted to fit his values.

Adam says that The Story-Needy Girl boils down to three key points which must be included – that the girl must collect stories, that the stories must plan to harm the girl, and that the girl must survive to discover that stories must be told if they are not to become toxic. This last truth, he says, is the purpose of the story, and any retelling must emphasise this. However, apart from this, any other elements of the story can be changed in order to ‘make it your own’ – from the words to the actors to the setting.

As to how he knows when it is appropriate to do so, Adam says that in this case it was about ease of telling and authenticity, but he will often change stories to match his values, and mentions anti-Semitism in Grimm’s fairy tales, which he removes when he retells the tales. I ask him about how closely a story must match his values, and he says that there is some room for manoeuvre – for example, when he tells the Mabinogion, which was written down in medieval times, he does not change it, because he feels that the length of time behind it and the way it is written make it too solid to change. However, he does not necessarily agree with its treatment of women (the Mabinogion was written in medieval times), and so always adds in an explanation of the structure of society in the times in which it was set when he is telling part of it.

You can buy Adam’s The Selkie Bride and Other Songs and Stories of Transformation here.

Meanwhile, as the storytelling model shapes itself, I’ve been interviewing Jan about her processes. I was excited to find that both she and Adam discovered, during the interview process, important elements in their storytelling, and that these elements were surprisingly similar. No more now until the model is complete, but suffice it to say that a model in common – despite the different storytelling contexts – is definitely there.

Modelling/Storytelling Project #3: Presence and Groundedness

A round of applause and hugs all round. That was our very rewarding response at the end of a week’s PIE training in Manchester. I was co-training with Janice Russell, who I took the opportunity to model and observe in her storytelling as a trainer, and these are my preliminary observations:

Presence/Confidence

This was what really struck me from first position, and not until I was in first position. Jan’s presence is confident. It was a weird feeling, again, standing at the back of the room mimicking Jan as she trained, and I personally am not sure how far I was able to get into her skin whilst still being present as her co-trainer. However I did notice the presence and confidence, it was not my own, so it must have been Jan’s!

There were several elements which made up this presence and confidence. One thing I did notice, from the way Jan moved around, with extended arm gestures and sometimes big strides across the room, was a willingness to take up space. The word that came to mind was ‘grounded’ and on three occasions I noticed Jan stand still with her feet close together, and once again as I mirrored her, the feeling was ‘grounded’. It was from this grounded space – both still and moving – that she was able to engage successfully with her audience and tell her story.

Embodying the Story

Jan told stories with several characters, and she brought the characters into the room not by portraying them as an actor would, but by assigning them different spaces in the room. So, for example, when talking about one character she would take a step to the left of her starting point, anchoring the space to that character, stepping away when she began to talk about something or someone else, and stepping back in when she returned to that character.
At one point, as a story reached its climax, Jan talked about it being ‘as if the world had gone into slow motion’. At this point she mimed a slow-motion gesture as she continued to illustrate the story, using rich sensory language in several modalities, and synaesthetic description to make her image brighter, building audience expectation before coming back to normal speed and delivering a ‘punchline’.

Engaging with the Audience

I notice that Jan, much like Graham, looks around the room at different people when she speaks to the group. I noticed that when referring back to an idea that had already been mentioned, in that session or a previous one within the group, Jan would gesture in the direction of the person who had talked about the idea, whether they were someone who brought it up or responded to a question on the subject. This gave me the impression that she had spatially anchored some ideas by attaching them to a person, and this is something I would like to ask her about when I interview her.

Choosing the Right Story

I noticed that Jan would bring out several stories in a row to illustrate her point, all of which I have heard her tell before, suggesting that she has a mental ‘bank’ of stories to draw from, and may have certain stories associated with certain theories.

I’ll be interviewing Jan soon; meanwhile, you should also be aware that she writes great fiction and listen to her brilliant reading of her short story Garden Bench Marks.

Next steps for the project: I visited Adam the Storyteller in Haworth recently, and will be sharing some material from that trip soon. Already I’m starting to notice themes developing; commonalities between my storytellers despite the different contexts. More of which when I present the model in October!

Modelling/Storytelling Project: #2 – The Cauldron Bubbles

Modelling a Storyteller #2 – The Project Evolves

Whisht now, haad yer gobs, and I’ll tell ye aboot the stories… The project has been bubbling away in my cauldron and is starting to call for its own ingredients now. I realise that the spice of any particular storyteller can have no purchase without something solid to take on its flavour. So the project is developing a shape.

The last few weeks have been very much about goal setting: knowing the intention of any particular action, and being realistic about resources. So my project has evolved as I realised that the primary intention of the project is to create the best presentation on storytelling which I can for the Master Practitioners in October. The secondary intention was to show a modelling project, but it must not overtake the purpose of the storytelling piece. My resources – time, energy, and geography – have therefore gone into being in touch with the best storytellers I have access to, and learning from them as best as I can, even if my resources don’t permit a full traditional modelling project for each.

I will actually now be richly peppering this broth with several wholesome storytellers rather than one. This is because I’ve been thinking about different aspects of storytelling, and I know that some specialise in one or two aspects, and I’m also interested to find out what top storytellers have in common, and what is unique about each.

I mentioned aspects of storytelling. More are rising to the top of the brew all the time, releasing their sweet or pungent aromas, tempting the palette and making themselves known. So far I’ve been thinking about how to choose a story to tell and when to make one up, engaging with the audience and embodying the story amongst other things.

So as the victuals for this fantastic feast mature, let me tell you about a cook I worked with this month…

Graham Dexter

I chose to model Graham because I’ve been on the receiving end of his teaching stories, and as I was co-training with him in Manchester I thought it’d be a great opportunity to pick up some of his recipes for a really well-told story.

Graham is an expert and experienced teacher and has been training for decades. His storytelling engages the audience and helps the content of his teaching to sink in at an unconscious level. He is a great example of storytelling with purpose, specifically for the purpose of teaching.

How?

I spent part of one training day modelling from first position: copying his physiology – stance, breathing, gestures, facial expressions – to see how that energy felt and what I could pick up from there. I also took note of what he was doing from third position – trying to understand him by careful observation. I felt that my modelling process did have some flaws – time pressures and the fact of both being in training mode meant that I could not be fully in modelling mode and I was also observing from third position at the same time as doing first. I would do this differently next time; however I still gleaned some useful information.

Some notes about Graham’s storytelling

Embodying the story: Graham takes on a different physiology as he quotes different characters, and behaves as if he is them in their surroundings. At one point I watched him pat an imaginary dog on the head.

Choosing the appropriate story: I watched how Graham switched from traditional teaching mode to storytelling mode, noting his eye access cues to get an idea of strategy. It went something like this: “[Describes theory]…[gives example]…such as…” and at this point his eyes dropped to the side, as if he were searching for the physical sensation of the feeling he wanted to convey “[names emotion]” and then his eyes swivelled upwards, searching for a visual boot/up to the memory, before his body gave a little jolt and he moved into the physiology of the story, along with which came the words.

Details and memory: as I listened to Graham retell stories of his which I knew well, I noticed that small details, such as days of the week, changed from telling to telling, whereas the larger details, like the structure of the story, key points and outcome, remained the same almost word for word.

Engaging the audience: Graham is a very active storyteller, expending a lot of energy into the telling, and this pays off in the captivation of his audience. I noticed that he would look round the room, making eye contact with each person one at a time, and occasionally he would move towards someone (each time a different person, unless he was returning to a point made earlier with a particular person). He would catch this individual’s attention by moving towards them and looking them in the eye as he seemingly told one part of the story just to that person. Once he knew he had their attention he would back off, expanding the width of his gaze and gestures to include the whole (enthralled) room.

Spatial anchors: Graham would place different parts of the story on different sides of him to contrast. He also had behind him a diagram (PowerPoint) of the model he was teaching, and although he mainly ignored that in favour of engaging with the audience, occasionally he would point at a particular part of the diagram to illustrate how a particular part of the story fitted in with that.

A point of methodological interest: from first position, I found that at one point I knew what story was coming about a minute before he began to tell it. I’m sure this knowledge came from my unconscious mind; how much of it was unconscious uptake from first position and how much of it was contextual (me knowing both the story and the material he was teaching) I can’t say.

I have yet to interview Graham to confirm/expand on my observations, and will be writing it up when I do that over the summer.

Meanwhile, I’m excitedly eyeing other storytellers to add to the mix, and thinking about how best to share all I’ve learned….

Modelling Project: #1 – The Mastery Plan

The Project

The Magician has access to all of the resources he needs…

Part of the mastery of NLP includes the ability to create a model of excellence. That is, if you are excellent in your particular field, as an NLP master I should be able to map your cognitive processes in such a way that I, or any other who uses this map, can reproduce this excellence. Modelling is not copying, and a well-created model should enable those using it to apply it in their own particular way, whilst capturing what the UK’s first female master trainer of NLP, Beryl Heather, would call the essence of what you do.

As a demonstration of the modelling process, for a cohort of master practitioners in training whom I’ll be co-facilitating in October of this year, and as a logical next step and tool on my own path, I have decided to create a really good storytelling model.

Aims

• Create and use a model of excellent storytelling
• Demonstrate the modelling process
• Further my own personal development

The Background

The Story of the Crow

Click on the picture to go to the video of my Masters’ presentation

For my own master practitioner certification two years ago, I decided to model the pain management process used by pain management specialist, nursing tutor and NLP trainer Dr Graham Dexter. (Disclosure: I am related to both Graham and Jan.) One of the requirements for the presentation was a demonstration of use of metaphor. “Do I have to tell it as a metaphor?” I asked my teacher Dr Janice Russell, herself something of a mistress of metaphor. “Yes,” she uncompromisingly replied. Reluctant and slightly panicked, I tore up my boring and accurate factual report of the project, and got to work penning a story. I used to write and enjoy it, but I hadn’t for years. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I rather enjoyed the process, and after giving my presentation felt that I had perhaps recaptured some of my own storytelling spirit. Oh, and I had my first tattoo done as part of the process.

I wannabe a Bard

Last autumn I started the BDO (British Druid Order) Bardic course. I’ve long been fascinated by druidry ancient and modern, and this has been a fantastic chance for me to learn a little more about myself, my path, the natural world, history, magic and stories. In fact, as I noted in my ruminations when I started the course, here is a chance to get back into my storytelling self, and to explore new ways to use story. So this project very much fits in with my personal path at this moment as well as the objective to demonstrate a modelling project.

Myth and Narrative

There is so much magic in myth and story, isn’t there? When we study ancient stories, we connect with our roots in pre and proto histories, times and places when nothing was written down and the only other evidence we have is archaeological. What a wonderful way to relate to ordinary people from the past, our ancestors!

And after so many years, we still rely on stories to impart knowledge, to teach us about cultural norms and about characters we may meet. In my own healing work, I use stories and metaphors with clients, particularly in combination with hypnotic trance.

Fairy stories allow children to safely explore scary adult concepts, like death and danger, which they might someday need to know about, without having to experience it for themselves. Stories can also impart hope for those who are going through difficult times, when they need to believe that there’s a happy ending. Stories can help to raise awareness and understanding of important issues. And they give us a sense of shared human experience, and remind us that we are not alone as we face our demons and participate in our own quests. As well as being great entertainment of course!

The Plan

Find the Right Storyteller

As this project is only just emerging from my nicely-bubbling cauldron of inspiration, I am still looking for the right person to model. There is a practical side to this – which may involve attending an event or two (I’ve already been recommended a festival that looks fantastic, but which, unfortunately, falls at a time when I’m not in the UK) – but there is also a necessity to know what I’m looking for – what qualities I want to model.

So here it is universe, I would like you to connect me with a storyteller who has presence, magic and memory, and can tell and retell old tales and create new ones with skill and purpose. Thank you!

Modelling through 3 positions

The modelling process, in its most basic form, consists of three positions:

First position (Shadow): This is where I shadow my model, and take on their physiology and behaviours, in an attempt to tune into them on an unconscious level (unconscious uptake).

Second position (Interview): At this point I’ve shadowed and observed my model and may have found ideas popping up in my head about what might be going through their head. This is a good chance to try these out and ask any questions. Although it’s called second position, I’d usually do this at the end.

Third position (Observe): As I spend time watching my model, I notice what I think is going on inside their head, from a perspective of distance.

What’s Going on in Their Head?

As I shadow, observe, and interview my model, the outcome is to learn and reproduce what’s going on inside their head in order to apply it to my own storytelling and share it with others who may be interested. I’ll particularly be looking at strategies for how they represent to themselves inside their head as they tell stories (a pattern of representational systems that lets them know at what stage they are in any given process). I’ll also want to know what’s happening on the Dilts levels – what is happening with identity, beliefs, capabilities, behaviour and the environment. From there I’ll integrate any other noticings which become apparent, and create a ‘model’ which I’ll then use to tell a story masterfully myself.

The Finished Project

I’ll post updates on here as the project unfolds to share my learnings and the modelling process. The final presentation will be given to the masters’ group in the Algarve in October. I’ll also upload a video onto the blog.

 

Seasonal Reflections: A Blessed Imbolc

Early next month sees Imbolc, the fire festival which, although still deep in Winter, brings with it hope of the brighter seasons to come.

Here in Monchique, we haven’t seen snow or freezing temperatures (although there’s been quite a lot of fog). The Winter has been lush, green, damp and fruitful. But still, we’ve been through a seasonal waning of the year, as well as some dark days personally, and I’ll be pleased to celebrate the coming Spring.

This is the time when we clean out the cobwebs (time for a spring cleaning), and also the time when we nourish and pay attention to those seeds which have been buried all Winter and which may be ready to start sprouting soon. For me this is a time to pay attention not only to Nature but to the younger members of the family, making sure that they have the right conditions to grow. It’s also a time to discover or rediscover creative projects and see what they might grow into this coming year.

In this spirit, I am pleased to share with you a guided meditation which I became inspired to create this week, and which I hope inspires you with your own creativity: The Seed.

I’d also like to share a suggestion to aid in connection with your kids – a kind of active visualisation, if you like, for parents of young kids, to do whenever you’re having a quiet time together, maybe at bedtime or in front of the TV: umbilical breathing.

Umbilical breathing comes in two parts. First, you tune into your little one’s breathing. Notice when they inhale and exhale, and gradually allow your breathing to match theirs. Let this occur over several rounds of breath, so as not to be forcing your own breathing too much.

As you continue to breath in tandem with your child, imagine that there is an umbilical cord linking your bellybutton with theirs. We focus on the bellybutton because this is the area of an important energy centre, the Tan Den. Now, as you breathe in, imagine that they are sending some of the joy, wonder and ease which young children naturally feel to you. Picture or feel it dissipating throughout your body. And as you breathe out, imagine that you are reflecting that back to them, along with the love, nurture and care which you naturally feel for your little one. Continue this for as long as you like.

I hope you have enjoyed these two techniques, and if you would like to know more about me and what I do, please visit the Vibrant Self Healing website.

The Algarve Secret Auction for Refugee Child

APPEAL: SAVE A CHILD’S LIFE THIS WINTER

We are all shocked by the images and reports of refugee children arriving in Europe, cold, wet, traumatised children, in need of shelter, in need of succour, in need of medical support, of security, of decent adults to protect them in their vulnerability. As mothers, fathers, grandparents and siblings, we imagine what it would be like if it were our children in that situation, in those conditions. And we wonder what we can do to help these children, so like our own, so desperate, so vulnerable.

These children need qualified, experienced and caring people on the ground. They need shelter and resources for immediate medical attention. We may not all be able to get over there to them, but we can make a difference. We can show them that we care and we can make the difference between life and death for some children this winter.

The idea is for the Algarve as a community to get together to raise funds to send aid over to the places where children are coming ashore each night and day. Many people have already donated clothes and time and this is wonderful; and what they really need are the resources to provide appropriate aid on the ground.

Which is why there’ll be a ‘secret auction‘ running over the next few weeks to raise funds for immediate aid.

 What Can I Do?

 If you are a local business owner or service provider, please donate items or services for auction in aid of this worthy cause. Then share this event widely and get bidding!

 You don’t have to be a business owner to bid on the items up for auction – anyone can join in. So take a look around at the items on offer, and when you see something you like, just send in your bid. Remember this is a secret auction – people don’t know what each other are bidding – so send the bids in a PM to the page owner.

 If you don’t see something you’d like to bid on, or if you’d like to donate directly before the auction ends, you can donate by following this link http://gogetfunding.com/refugee-child-urgent-lesvos-appeal/

 How Does The Secret Auction Work?

 The Secret Auction will be run via Facebook from the group page.

 People donate goods or services by contacting admin at the event page. If you have something you would like to donate, please send details of the item, along with at least one photograph and a description, with links where appropriate.

 Each item will be listed with a title, a reference number and a description along with the photo.

 If you would like to bid on the item, please PM the page admin with the title and reference number of the item you would like to buy, and your bid. All bidding info will be kept secret until midnight on November 30^th, when the winning bid will be announced and the winner will be given instructions on how to collect/receive the item.

 Where Does The Money Go?

All of the money raised through this event will go to the Refugee Child organisation. Refugee Child is a grass-roots movement to take aid to refugee children where they need it. They have already raised money to fund a project in Calais so that children in ‘The Jungle’ have a place to go and learn and receive emotional support. They are now working on an urgent appeal for children arriving on Lesvos. The aim of the appeal is to provide shelter to children arriving on Lesvos in the hope of keeping them alive. Refugee Child is a relatively new organisation, currently applying for charitable status, and working in co-ordination with the UNHCR.

 Why Not A Larger NGO?

In the current refugee crisis, the larger and more well-known NGOs have been largely ineffective. This may be because of the size and scale of their established infrastructure, which takes a lot of time and money to activate, as opposed to an organisation such as Refugee Child which has developed in direct response to this refugee crisis and so is more able to meet immediate needs. The larger NGOs are also largely only present inside the registered areas of refugee camps. The children, families and individuals arriving on Lesvos need aid on the shore, they need aid in the immediate aftermath of getting out of the water, they need aid in the days-long queue to get registered and begin to access what is available in the camps. Refugee Child is providing this kind of immediate and urgent aid and this is why this event will donate to Refugee Child.

Seasonal Reflections: Ritual and Meditation

Last night was Samhain, a time when the veils thin between the worlds, and here in the Algarve the winds howled appropriately and mischievous spirits did indeed meddle with the power lines, cutting the electricity off repeatedly and creating a suitable atmosphere. Meanwhile, I secluded myself to reflect and meditate.

Despite death and the dead being significant at this time, death has been too recent a visitor in my family for me to want to explore the subject in too much detail. However I did want to acknowledge and honour my lost ones, so I contented myself with a simple yet powerful ritual in which I lit a candle for each person I had lost, said their name, who they were to me, and that I remembered them. At the end I lit a candle and pledged to live my life in a way which honoured them, and asked for their blessing in this. I’d thought the ritual might upset me, as I remembered those I’ll not be meeting again in this life, but actually it was rather comforting. My table was graced with a merry blaze of flickering light and I felt safe and watched over, as if those people were aware of me somewhere and wishing me well.

A little later I did my inner archaeology meditation, a healing meditation for looking at the shadows. I would only recommend this one for people who are serious about their self-exploration and healing and experienced enough to hold space and state, as by its very nature this meditation involves digging up things which might otherwise lie buried. However, as the nights lengthen and we turn inwards in our contemplations, this is my offering to you.

Blessed be, dear reader

Keziah x

NLP as a Spiritual Practice

I sometimes find, in conversation with other healers – wonderful people, with great energy, and clearly defined spiritual paths – that I feel, unfortunately, as if I am having to defend NLP, and my use of NLP in my own healing practice. The thinking seems to be “NLP is a psychological approach which has been used in business and marketing, therefore it cannot fit with my spiritual path”. I notice the frowns of disapproval when I talk about NLP techniques, the rejection of this psychological business which they don’t understand.

I want to make it absolutely clear here that I am not trying to malign anybody else’s path. Nobody has to embrace NLP – or anything else – if it is not right for them. But here’s why I think that these super-spiritual beings should at least give it a chance before they reject it.

Firstly, to acknowledge the very valid points. Yes, NLP is a psychological approach. This does not make it different from approaches of the spirit – indeed, our word psyche has roots in ancient Greek and translates literally as soul. It’s merely a different approach to the soul from those like Reiki and meditation (which I love). And yes, NLP has been used in business, and in advertising, and sometimes with very poor ethics. It has earned its poor reputation – or should I say, the people who used it unethically have earned their poor reputation. Because NLP in itself is neither good nor bad. NLP is a tool.

Language is another tool. Yet I’ve yet to meet anybody who has said to me, “I won’t consider using language because it has been used for purposes which I don’t agree with.” Indeed, they’d have to use language of some sort to convey this message to me. NLP is the same. It would be utterly ridiculous to reject it outright, without gaining an understanding of what it is, how to use it. Indeed, learning how people think can be the most insightful thing you ever do.

Some of the more trancelike techniques in NLP have worked beautifully alongside Reiki to help my clients to gain insight and understanding, and make the changes which they need. My clients, whoever they are, and whatever their circumstances, invariably come to me in search of support and a good listening to. NLP has given me the tools to provide this. Using NLP principles and techniques, I have also developed my Pain Management strategy. NLP has made me a healer.

And NLP has made a big difference on my own spiritual path. It has enabled me to question and change the thought patterns which often come with energetic and emotional blockages, to think clearly about my purpose in life, and to make the changes I need to. NLP has helped me enormously in my own journey. And I use it, with conscious intent, to heal and empower others. I understand what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I use it alongside other, more spiritual (according to whom?) approaches such as meditation and Reiki. And because I approach it from my spirit, in Spirit, with a spirit of integrity, it is for me a spiritual practice, as much as my Reiki, my meditation, my writing and my cooking is.

I have also liberally flavoured my new book, Living the Reiki Precepts, with NLP techniques. The Reiki precepts are an integral part of Reiki:

today only

do not anger

do not worry

be grateful

be diligent

be compassionate

When I learned Reiki I wanted to learn how to do these things. A lot of them I am still working on (that’s what life is for!), and with a lot of them, I had a lot of success by using NLP as a tool to help me to integrate them into my being.

So those are some of the reasons why NLP, for me, is a spiritual practice.

Finding the Purpose

As an avid consumer of fantasy, I am currently reading Lloyd Alexander’s classic series, The Chronicles of Prydain. In the fourth book, Taran Wanderer, our hero, a young man searching for his way in life, meets a character by the name of Llonio, “the luckiest man in the world”. Llonio is not rich, but resourceful. He lives in a house by the river with his family, and they have strung a netted weir across the river, to catch anything which might come floating downstream. On one day they catch an old bit of broken bridle, which Llonio upcycles to belts for his small children, and on another day a sack of grain comes floating down the river. Each and every find brings glee to Llonio, even when Taran cannot see the use of the item, and Llonio matches his finds to his needs. He is a happy man.

When Taran comes to take his leave of Llonio, he asks him to divulge the secret of his luck. ‘”Secret?” replied Llonio… “You need only sharpen your eyes to see your luck when it comes, and sharpen your wits to use what falls into your hands…..But don’t forget to put out your nets!”’

Lucky old Llonio’s philosophy is a sound one, and not only when it comes to repurposing objects, although conscious recycling is a practice which could happily be adopted by us all. But to be really lucky, we must learn to find the purpose in everything that comes floating down the river towards us – be it an event, a thought, an emotion, or any other happening.

The process for linking life’s purpose to life’s reality is threefold. Firstly, we must know what our needs and wants are. Do our children need belts? Are there bellies to feed? When looking at our own needs, it can be useful to look at them in a framework. Try asking the following questions for each of these realms: the physical, the spiritual, the mental, the emotional, the energetic. Remember, this is about you, so try to focus on internal rather than external processes. What is the landscape like at the moment? Is it missing anything? If it was perfect, what would it look like?

Spend a little time imagining how things would be if you had everything you needed and wanted in the physical, spiritual, mental, emotional and energetic realms. Imagining what you want vividly sends a message to your brain that this is a possibility for you. If you hadn’t really taken time to think about what you need and want before, this is a great opportunity to reflect, and take stock. What is your purpose?

Once we know what our needs and wants are, we need to take a look at what’s caught in our nets. It might be immediately apparent what its purpose is for us, or it might not. But even the most trying experiences have a purpose. If it’s a struggle of a day, then at the end of it, if nothing else, you have the knowledge that you can survive such days. Sometimes difficult times bring with them lessons – patience, humility, strength, a moment of clarity or of honesty with yourself, even the impetus to begin making positive change. Accept what the river brings you with all your heart, be grateful, and let it serve its purpose.

Once we have accepted the gifts which the current has sent our way, we can start to think about shaping them into something new. Here is where we can start to compare it with the needs and wants that we identified earlier. Is there something in today’s experience which fits, just slightly, with what you need? What could you do to harness that usefulness? On the other hand, if it doesn’t suit your purpose at all, what would you need to do to make it do so? What changes could you make to shape the resources available to you to achieving your purpose? You might surprise yourself if you sit down and use your consciousness to think about it.

And so I invite you, friend, to cast open your nets across the river of life, to embrace what it brings, and to use it to live on purpose.

Keziah Gibbons is an integrated coach, working with the mind, the energy systems, and the body, to support healing and personal development. To book a private session, contact her here.

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